22 April 2010

Mission #85: Get a Pisces tattoo

Completed April 15, 2010.

This mission caused me the most anxiety out of all them so far, even though I've wanted a Pisces tattoo for years now. Also, from what I gather, most people don't have more anxiety with their second tattoo as they did with their first.

However, when I got my first tattoo, it was on a whim. I didn't have time to think about it, and I certainly didn't have time to get anxious. This tattoo? I had about two weeks to go over and over in my head "Yes! I'm getting it!" "Damn, is this really what I want?" "Yes, I really want this tattoo!" "Is this really what I want?" "I can't wait to get it!" "Maybe I should wait..."

It was awful. But I'm glad I got it.

My next hurdle of this tattoo was getting my mother to accept the ink since a tattoo on my foot isn't something I could easily hide. The first tattoo I got was on my ribs, so she didn't find out for several months that I had it.

But then she flipped. 

To my mother the human body is perfect the way it is so "Body art" is "body mutilation" in her eyes. I think that having had all three children get a tattoo and essentially mutilate their bodies is one of the biggest disappointments. On one hand I can see how she would take it pretty personally since she did help create our bodies to begin with.

On the other hand, I realize I'm 24 years old, and am quite independent from my parents and it is my own body and I can do what I like. But I'm really close with my mom. She's probably one of the coolest moms out there and her opinion means a lot to me, even if I appear to blow her off. I find it quite upsetting to have her mad or upset with me.

So I sent her a text, and when I saw her next her reaction it was about what I expected.

She's OK about it now, but I'm sure the disappointment still lingers. And maybe I'm not as independent from my parents as I thought I was: it's my mom's opinions, her constant expressions of disappointment, and praise that keep me trying harder and push for more. Is that such a bad thing?

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