31 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #23

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Yes. But it hasn't been the kind of friend that other people have wanted or needed. But you can't make everybody happy, and you can't save the whole world. And there will be people who appreciate me, and continue to appreciate me, and there will be many who won't. That's life.

30 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #21 & #22

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

The more you know, the more you stress and ignorance is bliss: I would like to be aware, but I would also like to stress less and just be happy, therefore, I would like to be somewhere in the middle.

Why are you, you?

I don't really understand what the question is getting at. I can answer it, but I will feel a little long winded, so I'll leave you with a quote:

(That's pretty well the only thing I like about Kanye...) 

I have returned from Germany!

The last couple weeks of updates I had written and scheduled, but a few things have happened while I was away that I’ll write a quick update about.

1) Travelling via Ferry between Liverpool and Belfast. Goal complete (though it wasn’t on my main list).

For as long as I can remember my husband went with the ferry back home to Northern Ireland whenever he was stationed in England. When he told me this I was fascinated by the idea of an overnight ferry, where you park your car and sleep in a cabin with 2 bunk beds. Of course I had been on a ferry before in my life, but not an overnight one, and that was quite a few years ago in the meantime. 

So when my husband suggested we go on a mini road trip with the ferry I was totally excited. 

2) Get My National Insurance Number (NIN). 
Shortly after I booked my trip to Germany I got a letter in the mail, my NIN! Finally! It wasn’t too difficult in the end, but I’m still waiting for my nursing registration to go through here in England. While I wait for that I can at least get a job somewhere doing something. One small victory, at least.

27 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #19 & #20

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Does wanting to move back to Canada count? Because there are more jobs, more education prospects, more space, and a better standard of living.

Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Sometimes I do that. Sometimes I just hold it a second longer just to make sure the electrical activity registered. It's the same with traffic lights with me. It's like if we have to wait for anything technological for more than 3 seconds there's something wrong.

But no, I don't think this makes anything work faster, it's become such an unconscious habit in the meantime. Although, I don't get stressed if I push the button multiple times, just something to pass the time.

26 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #18

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

I hold onto people much longer than I should. In my mind things are salvageable, but they're really not. Because of this I have a habit of letting these relationship experiences define me and I carry around a lot more baggage than I should.

Moving to another country has helped me let go of a few things. I mean, there are absolutely no reminders of these people in my life right now and the people I meet have no idea what's happened in my life thus far. It's been liberating but sometimes in those quiet moments I think back to those people and how it all turned out and I wish I could have left on a better note.

I know I know, let go.

24 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #17

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?

Two things really. One was to join the army, the other to write a book.

It's difficult to pursue a military career when you're married, especially to someone already in the military. What's holding me back is what a recruiter will think if I actually was to walk into the office and tell them I want to sign up a lot more than what my friends and family will think about me signing up.

I'm my worst enemy when it comes to pursuing literary endeavours and completing them. I'm happy when I start writing, and then something in my life happens and I get derailed. I make a good effort to continue but end up sabotaging myself when I start convincing myself that making a living is more important and spending time with people.

In both situations I'm holding myself back and I need to stop if these are the two things I really want to do with my life. I know this too, I just need to figure out what I'm going to do about it.

23 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #16

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

I feel like this doesn't require a very in depth answer because we're all different people. Everybody has a different personality, different background, different social structure, different experiences growing up, even if someone grew up in the same community or family. Naturally, what we like and enjoy will be different.

Sometimes though, in spite of all of these differences, people can enjoy the same things in life. And it's amazing when you find other people you can relate to like that.

20 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #15

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

 I write my k's differently. They have a fancy little loop in them that I can only write when I'm not thinking about printing them.

I study in a vacuum, re-writing the information over and over again. Because that's the only way I commit anything to memory.

Left to my own devices, I will have a 2 phase sleep pattern: six hours at night, 2-3 hours during the day. I feel invincible when I can do this for several days in a row.

19 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #13 & #14

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

From certain death? Definitely. From the consequences of shop lifting? Not likely.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

I can't think of a recent example...

18 July 2012

"One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies

So it's not country, but it's still Canadian. Quintessentially so.

17 July 2012

50  Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #12

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

16 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #11

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

I was in a similar situation not that long ago at work. Everybody there felt it necessary to make comments and pass judgment on another co-worker that wasn't present. I respected a couple of those that were present, but they obviously didn't know the whole story of the absent co-worker. I spoke up and made a comment along the lines of "There's more going on than she's letting on." but all of my co-workers kept talking as if I never said anything.

It was a two-fold disappointment, firstly because they all were relentlessly gossiping and passing judgment, and secondly, that my comment didn't seem to affect their train of thought. You know, that perhaps what they were talking about was none of their business and that they didn't really know what they were talking about.

That's people for you, I suppose.

If I were to find myself in a similar situation I would speak up again. It would be the right thing to do firstly, but I also want to send the message that you don't gossip about other people when you're with me. The response I need to keep in mind is, "Why don't we talk about this with Person A here?"

13 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #10

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I'm worried about both equally. There are moments when I get caught up doing things right, but I always try to do the right things.

Sometimes I'm also afraid to do the right things because you realize how much on your own you are. It doesn't stop me, but I do hesitate or do something random to distract from what needs doing. It's something I'm working on because it's one of my longstanding hang ups.

12 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #9

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Being the kind of person that likes to have things planned to a T, and then having multiple back up plans, I would like to think I've had a considerable amount of say in my life. However, I know that I've probably have very influence into the greater workings of my life.

Over the last  couple months I've had to go through various government systems to start a new life in a new country and it's been stressful for a couple reasons. Firstly, you hope you fill out all of the forms correctly. Secondly, all these bits of paper cost a lot of money. Thirdly, you realize that your life is in somebody else's hands.

I always knew I had relatively little control over my life, but waiting for my UK visa really hit home how much of my life was really out of my hands. All of a sudden quotes about how the only thing I could control was my attitude continuously flashed before my eyes. I didn't want those people who came up with those to be right, but they were, and coming to fully accept that took a few bottles of wine.

On the other hand, I do believe that there are many small decisions that affect the greater outcome. The little ways you spend your day, like going to the gym or going over to your neighbour's house to say hi can set off a series of events that might be different if you hadn't made those choices.

So on the whole, I have accepted that in the greater scheme, I had very little control: everything ends up as it's supposed to. On the small scale, I have control over a number aspects of my life, namely, my attitude.

In reference to "the big things" that are out of my control...

In reference to those little things....

11 July 2012

"Alberta Bound" by Paul Brandt

Watching and listening to this makes me really nostalgic...

10 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #8

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

In trying to answer this question, I thought a lot about yesterday's question and answer. And it's true, I do live my life as if I'm going to live to 80. Actually, I'm quite bold in thinking that I will make it to 85 years competently.

But if I re-frame my life into 40 years, that means I'm more than halfway through my lifespan. In fact, I only have 14 years to live. Glancing at my master list of goals, most of them wouldn't be important to complete, just a few. I guess it would beg the question, why would I waste my time with all of the other ones?

Coming back to my thinking about yesterday's question and answer and subsequent questions of my own: if I had only 40 years to live, I should put up with a lot less bullshit and for much less time. A year is too long and pull back sooner if something doesn't feel right.

09 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #7

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

My first thought was that I'm doing nothing, but that's not true. I'm here, in England because I believe in my marriage.  In terms of my life I think I felt like I was settling for a while, which is why I guess I started this blog and a set of goals.

I'm still working on the career bit. I thought I had found something that I could believe in when I started nursing, but I think I've been searching for something else once I discovered that I wasn't that keen on it anymore.

During a conversation with a friend of mine over Skype, she told me that my next nursing job that I get I need to love, otherwise I will end up hating nursing. She's right, but how do I know what I love? I'm also the sort of person that I finish what I start: I don't think it's acceptable to quit something after short while just because I don't like it anymore. I don't think that's settling, just accepting that not everything in life is filled with ponies and butterflies.

On the other hand, is putting up with something for a whole year just to prove that you can too long? If in 6 months I discover something's not working and I want to quit, is that a bad thing?

Enter soul searching (now that I'm unemployed and have all this time on my hands)...

06 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #6

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

I think I would need a couple of jobs. It seems that when I focus all of my time and effort into one thing it makes me very unhappy. So if I did a combination of nursing, humanitarian, traveling, and writing I think I would be quite happy.

01 July 2012

Happy Canada Day to all of my Canadian followers and fellow Canadians!

I have not missed a Canada Day at my parents' house in many years and while I'm happy to be finally living with my husband like a "normal" couple, I miss home. I don't miss it that bad yet, I don't think I've been away for long enough yet, but I miss certain things.

I miss driving on the right side of the road. I miss the long straight roads allowing easy going road trips. I miss the flat land. I miss double-doubles.Granted there are other things that the UK has that Canada does not: all the different ciders you can imagine, a magnitude of tasty cheeses, diet hot chocolate (no really), and a lot of history.

But it's not home, and this being my first national holiday outside of the country, I think I'm just a little home sick.