16 July 2012

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind - #11

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

I was in a similar situation not that long ago at work. Everybody there felt it necessary to make comments and pass judgment on another co-worker that wasn't present. I respected a couple of those that were present, but they obviously didn't know the whole story of the absent co-worker. I spoke up and made a comment along the lines of "There's more going on than she's letting on." but all of my co-workers kept talking as if I never said anything.

It was a two-fold disappointment, firstly because they all were relentlessly gossiping and passing judgment, and secondly, that my comment didn't seem to affect their train of thought. You know, that perhaps what they were talking about was none of their business and that they didn't really know what they were talking about.

That's people for you, I suppose.

If I were to find myself in a similar situation I would speak up again. It would be the right thing to do firstly, but I also want to send the message that you don't gossip about other people when you're with me. The response I need to keep in mind is, "Why don't we talk about this with Person A here?"



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