18 February 2014

We Meet Again

After months and months of avoiding this screen, I'm back sitting in front of it again. I have lots to say but not sure where to start: how do you greet people you haven't spoken to in six months? Merry Christmas?

 Happy New Year?


Happy Valentines Day?


I never forgot about my blog. In fact, I think I thought about it daily. But something happened in August that made blogging, writing, and anything to do using words and creativity cohesively out of my reach. There just seemed to  be a block that sprang up a moment after I thought about blogging or my blog. Every attempt at blogging seriously felt like walking into a glass door I didn't see.

It was so weird and so frustrating that I ended up just giving in to the other priorities in my life: my husband, starting to work, training, starting a massage therapy course, and preparing to open my own part time business. Life still hasn't slowed down but maybe I'm coping better than I did a few months ago? I mean, in all fairness, my life is totally, 100% different than it was this time last year and I sort of forgot how to manage my time and embrace a busy schedule.

I think the other part of my block came from my hate for my blog. Yes. I really started to hate my blog. I hated everything about it: the colours, the layout, the posts, my alias, my image, etc. I guess I started to feel like I was outgrowing what I had constructed. It's a hard pill to swallow since I have spent years writing and posting to this blog. I have spent countless more hours in the last year researching blogging and social media tips and how to make a living from blogging.

And I have ended up hating it all.

I have entertained the idea of erasing as much evidence of The Capillary as possible and starting a whole new blog (and in essence, brand and personality). I've looked to celebrities who reinvent themselves like Lady Gaga and Katy Perry or have changed their names like P. Diddy for ideas. I've also internet stalked internet personalities like The Oatmeal and MeekaKitty who have at some point come out with their names and seen that it hasn't been detrimental (Although, I wasn't really part of their fanbase before the change so I am not aware if there was any negative backlash).

Not that I'm worried about backlash, I never had a fan base for this to be a problem. All things considered, am I really worried if people who have come across this blog before who didn't like it and don't give it a second chance? No. Am I really worried about those who follow this blog don't embrace the change and stop following? I'll be disappointed but my world won't stop. People come and people go and I hope that when new people come across this blog they can see that whatever change I will make is genuinely positive. And I hope that people that have been following me or have stumbled across my blog previously will feel more authenticity from me than before.

I think part of my face lift will require me to go through old blog posts. Firstly, to fix any broken links or images, secondly to delete the posts that aren't doing me any favours, and thirdly, kind of a journey down memory lane to see how far I've come. New content may occur since my life is moving forward after all, but it's going to be a slow process. On the other hand, life's not a race, yes?