23 March 2014

How Far We Come

A couple weeks ago I finally got over my writer's block. Helping to identify and verbalize my dissatisfaction with my blog helped tremendously and since then I've been able to make a few changes visually. That still doesn't mean that I've figured it all out, I still look in disdain at my blog.

After coming across a few blog posts about "archive" posts, posts you've written a long time ago or not so long ago, I thought I'd give my archives a gander. I never had any "how-to" or "10 things to make life easier" posts, but I realized had a much firmer list of goals when I started this blog. Reading back over these posts has been a bit of a strange journey too: I never anticipated the nostalgia that would accompany it. Or the groan worthy quality of some blog posts.

I keep trying to reassure myself that I know better now and I have the ability to edit, or even delete, many of these posts.

As I mentioned, a sense of nostalgia has been felt while reading these entries along with a recurring thought of "Wow, things have changed in the last four years." I mean, I knew things had changed in my life, but it didn't strike me exactly HOW much things have changed since I started this blog. The post that had set it off was when I got my first pair of fashion frames.

At the time it sort of marked that I was more or less financially independent from my parents, and if I wanted to spend more money than they had the budget for, I had the freedom to do so. It was also the first time in my life I had the ability to become not only fashion conscious, but a fashion consumer and develop a style. Not surprisingly, looking back over the pictures and the years my style has changed considerably.

I won't bore you with a total recap, but just trust me that in my self-reflection I have become a better and happier person. Two years ago, when I moved to the UK I was unhappy, weighed 68kg, and still had an unhealthy relationship with food. I feel far more settled today, I have my sport, and while I am cutting for a competition my pre-breakfast weight is 62.2kg, I would never have had the confidence to attempt something like this with an unhealthy relationship with food. While I have always been an advocate of going beyond superficial or physical markers to measure progress, sometimes that's all a person has.

Old pair of fashion frames in Oct 2012.
I'm smiling because I got ripped off so badly for airport coffee...

New pair of fashion frames.
Not the best idea to take a selfie following a night shift...

My head is still a block, just a smaller one.

My weight still has to come down to below 61kg by Fri March 28 for the weigh in for the Taekwondo International European Championships. 1.2kg feels like a lot of work at the moment, but when I look back at how far I've come I feel really proud of where I've gotten to.

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